Pet memorial portraits: remembering a dog or cat who has died

When a dog or cat dies, many families want something that keeps the pet's face in the house. A portrait is one way to do that. This guide explains how a memorial portrait fits into the weeks and months after a loss, how to find and choose the right photo, how to write a few words to go with it, and how people in the past remembered their animals. The ten pages listed further down go deeper into each part. Take them in any order, and at your own pace.

What a memorial portrait is for

A memorial portrait is a picture made to honour an animal who has died. It is usually made from a favourite photo, and it often hangs where the pet used to rest or sits beside its collar, tag or ashes.

Veterinary schools that run pet loss programs describe this kind of object as part of grieving. The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center, in its guide for grieving owners, says ritual is important after a loss and suggests ways to honour a pet's life and keep its memory. Its list includes a memory box with the pet's tags, toys and collar, a journal of the pet's story, a poem or a song, and a drawing or painting of the pet. For owners who do not want to make these things themselves, the same guide says many companies offer memorial items, and it names commissioned portraits, jewellery and special urns.

The University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine gives a similar list. It suggests drawing or painting pictures in a pet's memory, making a list of the things you loved about the pet, and putting together a scrapbook or photo album with paw prints, fur and pictures.

So a portrait sits in a long list of ordinary, private acts. It works best when it reflects the pet your family knew: the grey muzzle of the last years, the ear that never stood up, the way the cat sat on the stairs. The royal clothes and the throne are there to honour the animal. The face is there so you recognize it.

Grief comes first

The pages in the first group of this guide cover the grief itself, because it shapes when and how you will want to plan anything.

Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine says there is no normal way to grieve the loss of a pet and no set timeline. It describes grief that shows in the body (crying, tiredness, poor sleep, changes in appetite), in the mind (trouble concentrating), in feelings (sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness) and in how you spend time with other people. The University of Florida says guilt is a normal response to a pet's death, and that owners often ask themselves what they could have done differently. Our page on what grieving a pet can feel like explains these reactions in plain terms, drawing only on what the veterinary schools say.

Many people find grief easier with support from others. Several veterinary schools run free phone lines staffed by trained students or volunteers. Tufts University's Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine staffs its helpline from 6 pm to 9 pm Eastern time (3 pm to 6 pm Pacific) Monday to Thursday, with voicemail at all hours. Our page on where to find pet loss support lists these services and explains how to support a friend whose pet has died.

Children and other animals in the house grieve too. The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center publishes a separate guide for parents, which asks adults to be honest with children and to avoid phrases such as "put to sleep". Read our guide to helping children grieve a pet for what the veterinary schools and the American Academy of Pediatrics suggest at each age. The University of Florida describes surviving pets that sleep where the other pet slept or change how much attention they want. Our page on when other pets grieve covers those changes and when to call your veterinarian.

Planning a memorial portrait, step by step

The steps below follow the order most families work through. None of them needs to happen quickly.

Step 1: wait until you are ready

Cornell says grief follows no prescribed timeline, and Ohio State says it follows no organized plan or schedule. For some owners, choosing a photo in the first week gives them something to do with their hands. For others, the photo library is too painful for months. Both are normal. If you are not ready, ask a family member to gather photos for you, or come back to it later.

Step 2: find the photos

Most recent photos of a pet live on a phone or in a cloud account. If you deleted some in a hurry, look in the trash album first. Apple says anything in the Recently Deleted album on an iPhone, iPad or Mac stays there for 30 days. Google Photos Help says photos in its trash are permanently deleted after 30 days. Our page on choosing a photo for a memorial portrait explains how to search a phone library for one animal, how to ask family and friends for their pictures, and how to decide between several good photos.

Step 3: scan and protect old prints

If the best photo is an old print, scan it before you do anything else. The Library of Congress suggests scanning 4 × 6 and 5 × 7 inch prints at 300 dots per inch, and at 400 to 600 dots per inch when you plan to enlarge them to 8 × 10 inches or more. Dots per inch is the number of image dots the scanner records across each inch of the photo, so a higher number keeps more detail. The Canadian Conservation Institute says direct sunlight fades photographs. Keep the original in a cool, dark place. Our page on restoring and scanning old pet photos covers handling, cleaning and storage, and the article on how to photograph your pet for a portrait explains how to copy a print with a phone.

Step 4: choose a style

Purrealism offers 15 royal portrait styles. Nine come from Indian courts: Indian Royalty, Maharaja, Maharani, Patiala Royalty, Chola Warrior, Mysore Royal, Mughal Emperor, Rajput Warrior and Maratha King. Six come from European history: Renaissance Royal, Victorian Noble, Military General, Medieval Knight, Baroque Aristocrat and Regency Era. For a memorial, think about the pet's character and how you want to remember it. Our guide to choosing a royal portrait style goes through coat colour and character in detail.

Step 5: write the words

A short dedication can go on a card, on the back of a frame or under a digital image. The dedication writer further down this page turns your pet's name, years and favourite things into short dedication lines you can copy. Our page on writing a pet dedication shows how grave inscriptions from Victorian London and New York can guide your own words.

Step 6: choose a day to share it

You can unveil a memorial portrait on a birthday, an adoption day or the anniversary of the death. The University of Florida suggests planning a memorial activity on the anniversary as a way to pay tribute to the pet. Our page on anniversaries of a pet's death covers the first holidays and the first year.

Ideas that shape a good memorial portrait

A few ideas come up again and again when owners and veterinary grief programs talk about memorials.

A portrait shows one age. A pet changes over 10 or 15 years. A puppy photo and a senior photo can look like two different dogs. Decide which years you most want to see every day. The age the pet was for most of its life with you is often the face everyone in the family recognizes first.

The photo sets the face and the style sets the scene. A clear photo with sharp eyes gives the portrait the look your family knows. The style adds clothes, jewels and a setting. The two work together, and a good photo matters more than the choice of style.

A memorial can sit beside other keepsakes. Ohio State suggests a memory box or frame with tags, toys, a collar, paw prints and hair clippings. A small portrait fits well next to these things on a shelf.

Everyone in the family grieves in their own way. Ohio State reminds families that each member may have had a different bond with the pet and may grieve differently. One person may want the portrait on the living room wall. Another may prefer a small print in a bedroom. Talk about it before you choose a size.

A short history of pet memorials

Families have marked the deaths of their animals for a long time. Two pages in this guide cover the history: one on how the Victorians remembered their pets, and one on the history of pet cemeteries.

In 1808 the poet Lord Byron raised a monument to his Newfoundland dog, Boatswain, in the garden of Newstead Abbey in England. Its prose inscription says Boatswain possessed "Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity". The Australian Museum explains that Victorian families kept lockets and rings with a lock of hair and a photograph of a person who had died, and that families who could not afford a painted portrait arranged a photograph instead.

According to Newcastle University, the first public pet cemetery in the United Kingdom began in 1881 in the gatekeeper's garden in Hyde Park, London, after a family asked to bury their dog Cherry there. In the United States, Voice of America reports that pet burials at Hartsdale, New York, began in 1896, when a veterinarian let a client bury her dog in his apple orchard. In France, the city of Asnières-sur-Seine says its cemetery for dogs and other domestic animals opened to the public at the end of the summer of 1899.

Common mistakes to avoid

Most of these mistakes come from acting quickly while grief is new.

• Emptying the phone's trash too soon. Apple and Google both keep deleted photos for 30 days. Check the trash album before you decide a photo is lost.
• Framing the only copy of an old print in a bright room. The Canadian Conservation Institute warns that light fades colour photographs faster than black and white ones. Scan the print and display the portrait or a copy.
• Choosing a photo in a hurry. A blurry photo taken on the last day can carry strong feelings, but a clear photo from a good year usually makes a better portrait. Ask family which photo they picture when they think of the pet.
• Leaving children out. Ohio State encourages parents to let children honour a pet in their own way. A child can help choose the photo or write one line for the card.
• Writing a dedication that is too long for its space. A small card or plaque holds a name, the years and one line. Save longer memories for a journal or a letter to the pet.

Memorial ideas compared

The table compares a portrait with other memorials that veterinary schools suggest. The "Suggested by" column names the school whose published list includes each idea.

For step-by-step help with a memorial garden and the date of National Pet Memorial Day, read our article on how to memorialize a pet. Many families combine two or three of these. A portrait on the wall, the collar in a memory box beneath it, and a candle on the anniversary can all sit together.

Making a memorial portrait on Purrealism

Start in the gallery to see finished portraits. The Maharaja portrait shows a golden retriever in a red jewelled turban on a gold throne. The Mysore Royal portrait shows a black labrador in a saffron turban holding a gold sceptre. The Maharani portrait dresses a white and ginger cat in a green and gold gown. Each gallery portrait opens the portrait studio with that style already chosen.

In the studio you add one photo of up to 5 MB, choose a style, and then choose an edition. The digital download is a high-resolution file. It suits families who live in different cities, since each person can keep the same image. The art print comes in four sizes (8 × 10, 12 × 16, 18 × 24 and 24 × 36 inches) and on matte or glossy paper. The pricing page lists the editions side by side.

For a memorial, a seated style often feels right for a calm, older pet. The Maharaja, the Maharani and the Mughal Emperor all show a ruler at rest. A pet remembered for guarding the door or for its courage may suit the Rajput Warrior, the Chola Warrior or the Medieval Knight. There is no wrong choice. Pick the one that makes you smile when you picture your pet in it.